No Pedestals

Idolizing or putting someone on a pedestal, is perhaps one of the most self sabotaging things you can do. Yes, I know,  that is a rather large statement, but it has to be said! With a Teacher, Healer, Mentor, even a Friend or Family member, we can have a tendency to hang on every word they say or constantly brag about them and their accomplishments while justifying it as ‘support’ or ‘pride’. When in fact, it can be damaging to both parties….

When we put someone on a pedestal, we are giving them our power, not seeing them in their authentic state,  and thinking of them as someone who is above us and has all the information or accolades we wish we had. Let us think about Teachers-they are meant to teach, that is all just teach. They hopefully have been trained in the subjects they are teaching, so naturally they have more information that we do when we first show up to learn. Teachers share knowledge with the intent of leading the Student to a higher level than that of which they first showed up in. That is all, that is their role. For many Teachers, myself included, it is important to build a relationship with each Student, as we are passionate about our work, and just as important is to allow Students to grow and learn at their own pace, and adjust to that. Most of the time, this leads to a special relationship, but sometimes the Student puts the Teacher/Mentor on a pedestal, and in turn learns nothing since they have given away their power unintentionally. There are times when a Teacher/Leader/Etc does this on purpose, to feed the Ego or Narcissism, but most of the time it happens due to a Student/Person feeling less than and needs someone to lead the way, making it easier to bypass insecurities. 

This serves no one, it only leads to confusion and we can end up not thinking for ourselves. It is only natural to equal or surpass a Teacher or Mentor, and even a Parent, or it should be! The same can be said for a healthy relationship-one must live in their own life, instead of becoming completely enmeshed in someone else's life. When I was in Elementary School, I was shocked when I came out of the bathroom stall and saw my Teacher come out of the one next to me-I didn’t realize Teachers went to the bathroom! Sounds funny right-it’s because I looked at my Teacher as someone so far above me that they didn’t do something as simple as go to the bathroom! That realization allowed my detachment from my Teachers to turn into  respect and comfort, instead of idolization. I was more comfortable with my Teachers throughout my Education, and this further allowed me to build great relationships with them in order to be more vulnerable with questions and mistakes. In my eyes, that is how we should build relationships with others, whether it is a friendship or more. We should never give away our power to someone who may be more successful than us, have better ideas, a more adventurous life or have the knowledge that we want. Building a relationship should be based on mutual resonance, respect and most of all fun! That is how we learn and grow, and in turn teach each other. 

Look at your life and observe if you are a follower or a mutual seeker. Are you comfortable in your relationships, no matter what type they are? Do you idolize someone, hanging on every word or action, follow blindly?  Step back and see where you have given your power away, and create the intention to take it back. How? See yourself and the person on the pedestal as human, imperfect,  a giver & a receiver- we are all connected, we are all One, even when we have different lives or levels of knowledge. We are all equal…

Jess